Comic relief

Chelsea Handler – comedienne, writer, actress, talk show host and friend of Whitney Cummings. Here are her raunchiest tweets – 24 of them balanced by 12 images:



3 Jun 2009: I did feel Heather up but it wasn’t easy finding the end of her boob.


4 Jun 2009: Love Bites: Mom always said not to have sex in the car.



3 Nov 2009: Vamping Up Sex: I’ve had a lot of sex toys in my day, but never one with teeth.


9 Nov 2009: Carrie Prejean has a new “tell all” book. I’d rather just see the sex tape.



18 Jan 2010: Mariah Carey didn’t seem drunk at the Golden Globes last night, but her boobs did.


10 Apr 2010: I am on my way, my driver is black, of course I’m late.



10 Apr 2010: My driver and security team in Boston. Black on white. That’s how I roll.


7 May 2010: Riding my black cowboy!



6 Aug 2010: I almost killed myself, but instead had sex with Flava Flav.


14 Sep 2010: I’ll show a copy of the sex tape as soon as I go through my boxes and find it. It’s hilarious.



15 Sep 2010: Usher is on the show tonight. Watch yourself @50cent. I’m going to end up with a black guy. It’s what god wants.


21 Sep 2010: @JennyMcCarthy has a new book: Love, Lust, and Faking It. The faking part is what I do after she & I make love. U can pre-order on Amazon.



23 Sep 2010:  I love black people more than my Jews.


16 Oct 2010: I am jealous of black women. Have you ever seen my ass?



1 Dec 2010: This is how I prepare for a black guest. CeeLo. F#ck you and I’ll f#ck you too.


17 Dec 2010: I want everyone to know that @WhitneyCummings pulled her pants and top off at our xmas party, and then backed in to me. Merry Kwanzaa.



29 Mar 2011: I’ll be back for tonight’s show with Blake Shelton. I was detained in Cuba for sex.


10 Nov 2011: Jane Fonda has a new book about threesomes out. Prime Time! Get it.



8 Feb 2012: I feel like a Kardashian right now. That’s why I have a black man underneath me.


25 Ap 2012: There are a lot of black people on tonight’s show. It’s serious business.



13 Apr 2014: Post-coital glow. This lesbian and I are on or way to Minneapolis. We’ll be at the targe center tonight. Be there.


7 Apr 2015 @SarahKSilverman – sexy, Jewish, and horny.



11 Dec 2015: I only let black people cut my hair. Unless they’re all busy.


16 Jul 2016: Yeah, well, sex is funny. Have you ever had it?

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