Laughter is the best medicine, and the woman formerly known as Madisyn has it. Her surname reminds me of Charlotte’s Web. She has two Twitter accounts. The one known as Alice Coxxx is the account where she (to my surprise) showcases less of her humour. Given the liberal aspect of her job, it’s amazing that the Kaya Scodelario fangirl is less conservative with what she says on her personal account (where her profile name is vagina). If you have a funny bone, be prepared for the rib-ticklers. If you believe in seventh Heaven, you will appreciate how each compilation of a year’s tweets comes in sevens…
10 Feb 2014: First Valentines day in three years that I’m…
1. Not in rehab.
2. Not single.
3. Not sick.
23 Jul 2014: I took a quiz about how I’m going to die and the result was: buried alive by prolifers.
7 Aug 2014: Something feels wrong about drinking milk from a straw.
17 Aug 2014: I’m at Walmart and an old man comes up to me with his wife asking if I’d like to rent his cart.
9 Nov 2014: Possible names for my new dog: Lasagne. Clitoris. Dexter.
I’m open to suggestions.
16 Nov 2014: The f#cking pervert undies stealer in my apartment building strikes again.
27 Nov 2014: My great grandmother has threatened everyone in my family already.
1 Jan 2015: Me to anyone that dislikes me: same.
27 Feb 2015: 50 Shades of Grey is honestly so f#cking funny.
17 Mar 2015: It’s St. Patrick’s day. I’m Irish. I haven’t been kissed in months.
9 Apr 2015: A little mad that this tornado didn’t kill me.
27 Sep 2015: Whoever keeps throwing tampons around outside my apartment building, please stop.
6 Dec 2015: I don’t understand how you can be a girl and be comfortable NOT carrying pepper spray.
21 Dec 2015: One reason to date me: I always smell like coco butter.
6 Mar 2016: I think it’s funny that people who treat you like s#!t get offended when you finally do the same to them.
22 Mar 2016: Shout-out to the car full of boys who followed me all the way home from work to my parking lot before realizing it dead ends. I caught ’em.
6 May 2016: I’m dressed as an Oreo for work right now and kids are roasting my shoes. Also, kids are kicking, punching and biting me. I don’t know why they hate cookies so much.
15 May 2016: Thinking someone is fat is different than thinking someone’s clothes are too tight. I wear clothes that are too tight sometimes too. Jeez.
17 Jun 2016: How the f#ck is my mom going to give me dating advice and tell me who I can and cannot date when her boyfriend has swastika tattoos?
5 Aug 2016: My ex likes dating younger girls because it makes him feel like less of a P.O.S. for doing nothing that an adult should be doing by now.
19 Oct 2016: Met and nearly slept with a YouTube personality without knowing he was one. Things really tanked when I told him I’ve never heard of him.
10 Mar 2017: What I came to the gym expecting: hot guys.
What I get: Mr. Reid from the middle school.
18 Jun 2017: I’ve never called a man “Daddy.”
24 Jun 2017: Girls who talk just to make noise are the worst.
26 Jun 2017: Guy logic: This girl is wearing a shirt that shows her boobs, so it must be for male attention.
21 Jul 2017: The amount of people who have came to me for advice or to have someone to talk to about personal things since I started doing porn is nuts.
3 Aug 2017: Lol, my red lobster waitress from the other day just added me on Instagram.
5 Sep 2017: Y’all want a sugar daddy until you realize you’re eventually gonna have to f#ck an older man.
Jan 8 2018: This is the longest I’ve gone without sex in years and my dreams are getting freaky.
Jan 31: Miss having money and being naked all the time.
Mar 13: If you met me between December 2016 and December 2017, that wasn’t me. I’m sorry, that was a very long manic episode.
Apr 1: I don’t bring this up often but, WOW, religion is F#CKING SILLY.
Apr 3: This Easter, my great grandma told me she once let a guy that worked at a coat store touch her tits for a free coat.
Apr 10: One time, this super religious girl (that me and my ex were trying to get have a threesome with us) sent me a video out of nowhere of her putting the handle end of a hair brush up her ass.
Jun 6: Did I ever tell you guys about the time my ex boyfriend, who was living with me for free, borrowed my car for the day and I gave him money to put gas in it? Then he picked up his ex girlfriend and took her to dinner with the money I gave him for gas? I think about that a lot.
Editor’s note: There are other tweets that suggest the reason why she became a fixture of the adult entertainment world – she wanted her beauty to receive validation. It was difficult to find a boyfriend. If she had become a prom queen, she would never have felt the desire to become a porn queen. In general, she felt worthless in her pre-porn life. Lord knows how she will feel in her post-porn life. Additionally, she knew that she had higher chances of getting a girlfriend. Also, being rich from being famous means that she stands a greater chance of meeting her crushes – Sarah Hyland, Vanessa Hudgens.