Poisonous Ivy

Amber Ivy can be funny in a toxic kind of way. Here are 18 of her funniest tweets since 18 is the age of consent…

28 Jan 2015: 3 days in Vegas = 3 days miserably sick. Whut?!

4 Jun 2015: Is it politically correct to say “Hell yeah!” in front of someone who is Amish?

10 Jan 2016: When unknowledgeable people try to talk about the porn industry and have their facts all wrong, and then name-drop. No one likes you.

8 Mar 2016: When poison expires, does that make it more poisonous or no longer poisonous?

3 May 2016: I think I’m obsessed. Why don’t more men let girls kick them in the balls?

22 May 2016: I don’t mind some hair! But if I have to play crocodile hunter in your jungle to find your d!ck, it’s a no-go.

29 Mar 2016: Last night I realized how hard the male race is truly struggling. In attempt to hit on me, a guy said “I like your eyelashes.” WTF?!

10 Jun 2016: Cracking up watching the movie Superstar! I haven’t seen this movie in years and I forgot how much I love the obnoxiousness.

20 Jul 2016: P!$$ed in a funeral home parking lot on accident. 10/10 would p!$$ again.

24 Aug 2016: Sure, in this industry, desperation and being willing to do anything will get you somewhere. Just not for very long.

2 Oct 2016: There are lots of creepy people in the world that know how to use the zoom option.

24 Oct 2016: Life is one giant cuckold.

11 Dec 2016: Ugh, just saw someone call a vagina a “cock hole.” B!tch, I don’t call your d!ck a “pussy stick.” Leave me and my genitals out of this.

4 Feb 2017: Currently watching a Tinder date go sour at a bar. The guy is talking AT her instead of TO her.

9 Jul 2017: I sympathize for the next generation that will have no solid domain or usernames to pick from because we snatched up all the good ones.

3 Aug 2017: I want to make a lesbian porno called “Fisting And Enlisting” where the girls all wear uniforms and fist each other to get into the military.

31 Jan 2018: Influenza is a cruel, cruel mistress.

10 Feb 2018: Just spent $130 on a bunch of house plants I’ll probably inevitably kill.

Leave a Reply