Diagnosis: Douchebag

A long time ago, someone on a defunct movies message board had defended the notion that Roman Polanski is not a bad director just because of who he is as a person. He (Garry Cowell) believed that the best directors are bad people. He typed something on the lines of Hollywood being the rebellious epitome of the ten commandments:

“Many classic directors are alcoholics, anti-Semites, drug addicts, homophobes, hot-heads, misogynists, narcissists, pedophiles, racists and violent.”

Regardless of whether they have ceased with their vices, the following directors fit each category…

Alcoholics – John Cassavetes, Sam Peckinpah and John Woo.

Anti-Semites – Jean-Luc Godard and Mel Gibson.

Drug addicts – Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese and Oliver Stone.

Egotists – Michael Cimino, Francis Ford Coppola and Wes Anderson.

Homophobes – Sammo Hung and Quentin Tarantino.

Hot-heads – Stanley Kubrick, Michael Mann, Rob Reiner and James Cameron.

Misogynists – John Wayne, Alfred Hitchcock, Jackie Chan and Paul Verhoeven.

Pedophiles – Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, Bryan Singer and Victor Salva.

Racists – Victor Fleming, Blake Edwards, John Hughes and Wong Jing.

Violent – John Ford, John Landis and Werner Horzog.

If a psychiatrist had diagnosed them, they would be described as douchebags. Out of all the directors here, the most pretentious was Stanley. One of the make-up men who worked on Tank Girl had asked Malcolm McDowell about working with Stanley on A Clockwork Orange. Malcolm responded by proclaiming that Kubrick is a genius despite demanding to be referred to as Sir Isaac Newton at all times.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s