gallery The ultimate actress

There are those who have more range in accents (e.g. Meryl Streep) and facial expressions (i.e. Jennifer Lawrence), but Christina Ricci has the quintessential filmography of an actress. When you look at the range of films that she’s been in, she embodies what it means to be a successful child movie starlet, a teen movie star and an adult movie thespian. With that said, I rate her as 8/10 (fantastic).



In 2008, she was the most beautiful actress on the planet (on the strength of David Shankbone’s photos). She should’ve been bigger than Megan Fox (especially since she’s kissed more women on camera to make people think that she’s bisexual). The irony is that if Christina was taller, she would have been the most successful model on the planet. Like a would-be supermodel, her small height curtails her career.



The reasons why her career never took off in the way that it should was because she was rejected for certain movies and appeared in movies which were rejected by the international audience at the box office. She was rejected for the latter titular character in Romeo + Juliet. Claire Danes wouldn’t have been as big if Ricci won, although some may say My So-Called Life (starring Danes) circumvents that.



Kate Winslet wouldn’t have been as big had Ricci not been rejected for her role in Titanic. Another Kate, Hudson, owes her career to Ricci not winning the role of Penny in Almost Famous. Speaking of names with similar sounds, Ricci auditioned for the role of Jenny in Gangs of New York. It’s worth pointing out that she lost to Kirsten Dunst for Interview with the Vampire and Little Women.



Her career as a child actress would’ve reached an apex had she played the role of Lex Murphy in Jurassic Park. Thora Birch would never have been an indie darling had Christina not moved away from Ghost World. Christina would’ve been seen as the most gorgeous geek, daintiest dork or nubile nerd had she been cast as Velma in Scooby-Doo. However, that may have hindered her being cast in dark projects.



What’s hindering her in the long run is bad luck with some of her choices. Cursed was delayed for reshoots because Dimension wanted a PG-13 instead of an R. The film’s box office and critical reception suffered. The Craft (not starring the R-rated Ricci) had the same fate. As for Cursed, Dimension permitted Wes Craven to have Scream be an R. Horror, unlike action movies, should always be R.



As for Christina, All Faire’s In Love and Penelope were indefinitely shelved. She rejected Waking the Dead for its erotic content despite having auditioned four times for Lolita. She has been in other salacious films – Prozac NationMiranda, After.Life, Black Snake Moan (the sleaziest film that she has been in), Bel Ami and Around the Block. She rejected The Rules of Attraction due to the rape scene.



I wanted Xina (i.e. X = Christ) for a cinema adaptation of my fashion novel until realizing that it’s better to go for an upstart who is about to have her movie career launched as opposed to opting for someone who has lost their way. Xina should’ve been a household name based on the number of famous directors and stars who she has worked with (making a list of the latter is too daunting of a task).



Before I decided to replace risqué Ricci, I had an eerie experience involving a Xmas shopping trip (in 2013) where I visited the world’s smallest video/DVD store. Given my taste in Chinese movies, I saw it as a sign that there was a Chinese import of a Ricci movie titled Buffalo 66. This happened in the same month when a U.K. TV network (Channel Four) screened That Darn Cat and Penelope on two channels.

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