The original Reddit

Paying homage to the “Is it a bird?, is it a plane?; no, it’s Superman” quote, I hereby give you a similar one. Is she a boxer? Is she an author? No, she’s a dancer, model and actress (the most entertaining of trifectas). Her name will be revealed in due time. For now, you will be treated to her mind. If words can be music to your ears, then here is a medley of amusing musings from her time on Usenet.



Shoe size:


I wear U.S. children’s size 4 – that’s pretty small.


Tax payer:


Yes, they do. I pay taxes in two states (California where I earn it, Ohio where I’m resident), federal, and city (Cleveland). When I’m paid in cash or by personal cheque, I claim it under the cash/tips clause. When I’m paid by cheque/payroll, I get a 1099 form. Where you are changes your options a bit. In Cleveland, Ohio, you’re lucky if you can even get a doctor to order a PCR HIV test after you pay for an appointment and a bunch of other things you didn’t even want. If you do get a doctor to order you one, good luck paying less than 200$ for it. I can get an ELISA HIV test for free, though, with my 10$ complete STD battery and full internal check-up at the community clinic.


Is Kelly Fire and Kelly Steele the same girl?


Yes, same performer. She married Hamilton Steele.


As an on-screen performer:


I have never considered myself an actress. I can memorize lines. I can say the lines on cue. I can project the required facial expression dictated by the mood of the script – but that’s it. Perhaps, as Mr. Riley suggested, if the material that we were given to perform was of a higher quality, and the directors were more interested in the believability of the plot, we could do more – but we’ll never know. It hasn’t changed my sex life. I certainly can’t speak for anyone else, but on-camera sex doesn’t reflect a significant similarity to the personal preferences of the performers. I know that plenty of times during breaks in the shooting of a scene I have “played around” with my co-performer of the moment, and what we did off camera didn’t bear a striking resemblance to what we did on camera.



The reality of what she does versus what she does on camera:


*I* don’t do anything on camera that I wouldn’t do off camera, but that’s a personal issue with me. Lots of performers aren’t interested in the acts that they perform, most of the bi-sexual female performers probably never had, or will have, a lesbian relationship. Most of the male performers probably don’t call up their buddies and plan to do double anal on their girlfriends. Nobody has sex with the pizza boy. You, the men, don’t want to have sex with one leg in the air (so the camera can fit under your balls to get a good angle on the penetration) while grunting like a rutting pig, unable to fit more than half of your enormous penis into your partner’s orifice without making her scream in anguish, and then jack off for five minutes just when it was starting to really feel good. We, the women, don’t want to have sex balancing on our tippy toes as our shoes rip holes in the bedspread we just bought or while being literally painfully clumsy in general.


Male abusers:


As for the comments about male performers being abusive, I want to say that out of the (about) 40 scenes which I’ve done, I’ve had a bad time with one performer in one scene. Most of them have treated me wonderfully. Polite, affectionate, friendly and usually professionally – better than the “average joe” tends to treat me.


What happened to one female porn star:


If my information is correct, and I have good reason to believe it is, the artist who was born as Marcia E. Gray (i.e. Shanna McCullough) has retired before marrying director Jim Enright. She might still be doing some non-sex appearances, and maybe even a girl/girl now and then (I had the wonderful opportunity to work with her in Buttslammers 20 – an “all girl snorer” from yesteryear), but don’t expect to see anymore boy/girl scenes from her.



Buttslammers 20:


I had a really good time during the orgy scene, albeit the three girl scene I was in was lousy, the other two girls didn’t want to do anything they’d been cast to do, and Bionca was furious, but it was too late in the day to do anything about it. Oh, well…my biggest peeve with the movie was the editing, because they didn’t edit out off-camera director comments and other set noise, but they did manage to take out every interesting thing that I saw while watching the various scenes being shot. If you look at the box cover, you’ll note that they leave out stuff which there are great stills of (the money shots). The orgy scene, in particular, is peculiarly disappointing; they either lost the footage of or edited out nearly all the really cool buttslamming. All you see is pussy, which is nice, but I don’t think someone who buys a title like Buttslammers is looking for just pussy.


Body modification:


I don’t have tattoos, I don’t have piercings (well, except for my ears, and I wear earrings so infrequently that the holes are almost always closed over). When I did my first scenes, I was so naïve that I thought I should have those things because all the other porno chicks had them. So I put a temporary tattoo on, and got a clip on belly button ring, and did my best to be a porn chick. Thank goodness that I didn’t do anything permanent! I know better now that I don’t need to have those things.


Someone isn’t sure if she claimed that Brandi Lyons doesn’t perform with black guys or interracial relations in general.


Nope, wasn’t me who said that. I have no idea who does IR and who doesn’t.


Has anyone ever used Georgette Neale’s services for films?


I did a scene with Georgette for a Dr. Fellatio video (#31). She was on time and fun to work with, no complaints on my side. Elegant Angel has done at least one scene with her (the one which we did together!). I don’t know of anything else with her in it, though.



A fan’s comment: I just saw your performance in Slap Happy Deluxe. Now, I don’t know if this is a compilation of the previous Slap Happy films or something altogether new.


Umm…thank you! No, the scene I did wasn’t released in any previous Slap Happy, although it was shot around the same time as Slap Happy #2. I’m of two minds about the series, because it seemed to become something not quite what I had anticipated and maybe not quite so acceptable as I had hoped. I’m glad that you had fun watching it, though. I had fun doing it! You know what? I was mistaken, Slap Happy Deluxe IS a compilation – I was thinking you meant the Slap Happy Special Edition that Extreme only released on their website, which was Slap Happy #5, which was the one I’m in. I guess they included me in the deluxe also. Sorry about the incorrect answer.


Job labels:


World Modeling, the talent agency in Los Angeles, refers to us as “figure models” and “adult film performers” depending on whether the the work is primarily still photography or video.


Testing:


There is an STD panel required, but it’s not a full panel. It doesn’t include herpes, hepatitis (A, B or C), HPV and other less known pathogens. It was my understanding that a full panel has never been required. Only HIV testing was required before 2003, and that was a self-imposed requirement by the industry. Then Cal/OSHA (the California Division of Occupational Safety and Health) noticed that this entirely unregulated industry was operating and made some noise. The industry then started (again self-imposed) requiring more extensive testing, but doesn’t require anything that will put some big name performers off the roles and won’t actually kill someone. As far as I know (and I don’t know everything in the world, so I could very well be misinformed), there are no actual LEGAL requirements regarding STD testing and adult entertainment.



This reminds me of a Pantera song called Floods. Her screen name was Kimi Lixx. It’s also her screen handle on the Adult DVD Talk forum.

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